PlanetCrap 6.0!
Front Page (ATOM) • Submission Bin (2) • ArchivesUsersLoginCreate Account
You are currently not logged in.
T O P I C
Return of the King
December 17th 2003, 17:41 CET by CheesyPoof

The final installment is out.  Discuss how good it is, or isn't, or if it will get Oscars for PJ, or not, or whatever else, or if you want to see him film The Hobbit too, or not, just keep it all in one place.

* Be thankful I wasn't a nerd and made the topic title something stupid like "All Hail the King, baby."
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: Return of the King

|«« - Previous Page - Next Page - »»|
#12 by jjohnsen
2003-12-17 18:11:14
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I have to wait until Boxing Day, dammit.


It doesn't open for a couple of weeks?  Or you have to save up some lunch money before you can afford it?
#13 by Jibble
2003-12-17 18:15:27
That's insanity.  Why would Australia have to wait until after Christmas when the movie was filmed next door?  You should blame the English...or the Kiwis.

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#14 by Warren Marshall
2003-12-17 18:16:34
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Going to see it tonight at 9pm.  I'll report on the visibility of the CG...

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.
#15 by Sgt Hulka
2003-12-17 18:21:36
I'll wait til the weekend so all the dorks can see it first.  The last thing I want to have happen is have "Gandalf aka Rexx Smith" sit in front of me with a big ass goofy had and cane.


From /.

WARNING!!!  SPOILERS!!!

 If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, don't read this.  



1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, "YOU.....SHALL....NOT..... PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says, "the Ring."
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis..ter Ander-sonnn."
7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep," Monty Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout, "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
17 When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"
18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
21. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man!Charlotte's really let herself go!"

#16 by Sgt Hulka
2003-12-17 18:21:57
had = hat

#17 by Sgt Hulka
2003-12-17 18:22:32
BTW: Those were Things NOT to do when you go see Return of the King:

#18 by Sgt Hulka
2003-12-17 18:23:35
"RUN FOREST, RUN!"

Now that's funny!

#19 by Jibble
2003-12-17 18:24:37
Ow. Ow. Ow.

Hammer + Head = Ow.

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#20 by Sgt Hulka
2003-12-17 18:30:02
Yeah, that sucked.

I've been a Garfield fan since day one.  Fuck, even as a teen I had self painted my room with giant Garfields all over it.  My parents hated it, but I thought it ruled.  Anyway, a few comments about that dumbass trailer.

#1 - Garfield would not dance.  He's too lazy.
#2 - He would not imitate Elvis.
#3 - The voice fits.  

Hollywood sure has a knack for fucking up perfectly good characters and making crappy, appeal to the common denominator audience.  I guess when your only motivation is maximum $$$, you're gonna get that.  Oh well, it's not what I wanted it to be, at least by seeing that trailer, plus it's got Jennifer "Hootchie Mama I'm a singer/actor" Love "Karate Champion" Hewitt Boobaglage in it.

I'll pass on this one.  At least they did Scooby Doo right.  Fucking 20th Century Dumbasses.

#21 by Hugin
2003-12-17 18:40:39
lmccain@nber.org
Have folks seen the Chronicles of Riddick (ie Pitch Black 2..or Pitch Black 0 seeing as it's a prequel) trailer?

So odd. I mean..it doesn't necessarily look horrible in the way the trailer for Torque looks horrible, or the above linked Garfield.  But compared to the first movie..it's like they moved this one into a suburb of the Dune universe or something.
#22 by Bailey
2003-12-17 18:53:39
Hugin

Dancing fucksticks, I had no idea how stupid Torque was when you said it "looked stupid". Stupid, in fact, does not come close to describing that assfest. New words must be invented to accomodate this trailer, nevermind the movie to come.

re: Avatar Icon
#23 by TheTrunkDr.
2003-12-17 19:02:17
Going to see it tonight at 9pm.  I'll report on the visibility of the CG...

ditto.

I kid cause I care.
#24 by jafd
2003-12-17 19:03:58
#21 Hugin
it's like they moved this one into a suburb of the Dune universe or something.
I'm eager to see the new Riddick film. More Dune? Who complains?

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#25 by Jibble
2003-12-17 19:06:26
Anyone who saw Children of Dune.

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#26 by jafd
2003-12-17 19:07:30
That book was excruciating anyway.

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#27 by Hugin
2003-12-17 19:11:55
lmccain@nber.org
Jafd, it's just a weird shift in production design from the first movie.  Like I said, it didn't strike me as horrible, and hey, it has some random lady running around shooting and yelling, so I'll probably enjoy it.
#28 by Jibble
2003-12-17 19:13:23
Is she firing indiscriminantly or in controlled, patterned movements?

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#29 by Hugin
2003-12-17 19:16:46
lmccain@nber.org
Hard to say Jibble.  She doesn't, at least, appear to be firing into the back of a companion crouched in front of her.  So the movie must be good.
#30 by Bailey
2003-12-17 19:17:13
She's got a futuro-equivalent desert eagle in each hand, so I'd have to say intentionally indiscriminantly.

re: Avatar Icon
#31 by Bailey
2003-12-17 19:18:41
But Hugin's right, the trailer is just... weird. It's all quasi-religious indoctrination and an unknown force threatening the freedom of the galaxy type dealie. They're trying to turn the series into Star Wars or something.

re: Avatar Icon
#32 by Bailey
2003-12-17 19:19:33
But it's Star Wars... TO THE XTREME!!!

re: Avatar Icon
#33 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 19:22:09
Whoa, he totally jumped that speeder bike right over the fence!!

Comment Signature
#34 by jafd
2003-12-17 19:22:59
I thought Pitch Black would suck until I watched it, and I was fantastically wrong. This time, I'm betting the other way.

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#35 by Jibble
2003-12-17 19:28:04
#29 Hugin
Hard to say Jibble.  She doesn't, at least, appear to be firing into the back of a companion crouched in front of her.  So the movie must be good.

Zing!

Not bitter at all, are we?

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#36 by Gunp01nt
2003-12-17 19:37:40
supersimon33@hotmail.com
I wonder how they're gonna make the connection between The Chronicles of Riddick and Pitch Black, how Riddick ends up in that ship and all.

"The need to be observed and understood was once satisfied by God. Now we can implement the same functionality with data-mining algorithms."
#37 by G-Man
2003-12-17 19:42:01
Turbine gets $18 million in funding from VC firms and buys back the AC and AC2 IPs. Did they pull one over on Microsoft?
#38 by Ergo
2003-12-17 19:42:53
#22 Bailey
Hugin

Dancing fucksticks, I had no idea how stupid Torque was when you said it "looked stupid". Stupid, in fact, does not come close to describing that assfest. New words must be invented to accomodate this trailer, nevermind the movie to come.

What, this is a surprise? It's the Fast and the Furious, only with motorcycles!

Cogite tute.
DVDs
#39 by BobJustBob
2003-12-17 19:43:18
He'll be imprisoned for war crimes.

Dood.
#40 by m0nty
2003-12-17 19:43:44
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I believe Riddick has an alien growing in his stomach, and he's on a mission to examine some strange black monoliths near a black hole with his two trusty robot friends.
#41 by Duality
2003-12-17 19:52:15
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
What, this is a surprise? It's the Fast and the Furious, only with motorcycles!

Except that The Fast and the Furious was entertaining.

I'd say Torque is The Somewhat Accelerated and the Slightly Angered.

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#42 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 19:52:33
Asheron's Call 2 was pretty much a complete failure.  I'm sure Microsoft was relieved to get rid of it.  They had already essentially switched away from Turbine and toward Sigil Games as their 'MMORPG partner'.

Comment Signature
#43 by jafd
2003-12-17 19:53:51
You guys don't know pain. I had to sit through a trailer for Torque on IMAX. That's pain. Pain, built into the system.

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#44 by Duality
2003-12-17 19:56:39
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
I'm sure you've done something to deserve it anyway!

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#45 by Jibble
2003-12-17 19:56:54
Heh, when I went to see Reloaded on IMAX they didn't have any trailers or commercials...nothing at all before the movie.  An IMAX logo popped up, then the movie began.  It was cinema in its most pure and beautiful form...I may have cried a little.

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#46 by Warren Marshall
2003-12-17 19:57:30
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
#36 Gunp01nt
I wonder how they're gonna make the connection between The Chronicles of Riddick and Pitch Black, how Riddick ends up in that ship and all.

Well, seeing as they already established Riddicks situation and explained why he was on the ship in the Pitch Black movie, I'd say they can focus their energy elsewhere.

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.
#47 by Ergo
2003-12-17 19:59:27
#41 Duality
What, this is a surprise? It's the Fast and the Furious, only with motorcycles!

Except that The Fast and the Furious was entertaining.

No, it was not. Ricer films are one step removed from Mexican wrestling movies.

Cogite tute.
DVDs
#48 by Bailey
2003-12-17 20:00:00
Now now Warren, don't go using your logic and memory to dismiss Gunpoint's perfectly valid inquiry.

re: Avatar Icon
#49 by Trolly McTroll
2003-12-17 20:02:58
#45 Jibble
.I may have cried a little.


That's only because you're a pussy.

"..and Trolly McTroll is the best name EVER. I laugh every time I see it."  - ZEP
" If i ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Trolly. - The_Joker
"I agree with Trolly. " - yotsuya
#50 by Duality
2003-12-17 20:07:57
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Ricer films are one step removed from Mexican wrestling movies.

Donning a luchador mask, eclipsing the sun as I fling my weight at you.

Seriously, I like the Fast / Furious movies.  They were very simple popcorn flicks worth a rental/download/discount DVD purchas.  I got it on Movies on Demand for $4 for both films.

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#51 by Ergo
2003-12-17 20:29:55
To each his own, I guess. My wife and I managed to get 1/4 through F&F before we couldn't take it any more.

Cogite tute.
DVDs
#52 by crash
2003-12-17 20:51:24
G-Man:

Turbine gets $18 million in funding from VC firms and buys back the AC and AC2 IPs. Did they pull one over on Microsoft?

Maybe, but I doubt it. Figure they spent maybe half, or more, of that 18m to get the properties back, and that leaves 'em a pretty good chunk of change to build the infrastructure they're going to need. Pretty cheap IP, as those things go. Since I haven't seen the original contract, maybe there was a buyout option in there that Turbine just exercised or something.

It's going to be interesting to see where it goes from here, though, because I don't think there's a precedent for this. Has any other developer bought their IP back from the publisher before? Wonder what Turbine's going to do with their franchises, especially AC2--because it's about as close to death as I've seen an MMOG in a while.

By this time tomorrow we can be doing BODY SHOTS off HOOKERS in some MEXICAN HELLHOLE
#53 by Bailey
2003-12-17 20:51:57
What, don't you like forced bravado and testosterone leaking out of every pore in a cast of all-star repressed homosexuals?

re: Avatar Icon
#54 by Bailey
2003-12-17 20:54:02
The real question is, am I talking about Fast and the Furious, or Return of the King?

re: Avatar Icon
#55 by crash
2003-12-17 20:54:59
Why decide?

By this time tomorrow we can be doing BODY SHOTS off HOOKERS in some MEXICAN HELLHOLE
#56 by yotsuya
2003-12-17 21:06:57
Ergo-

That's pretty good. I couldn't get through 1/4 of the COMMERCIAL.

"YES!!  You see people, THAT'S why he's the Vice-President of A/V Services here at Respawn Games.  Yotsuya ALWAYS unleashes the fucking fury!" - Warren Marshall
#57 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:08:43

Heh, when I went to see Reloaded on IMAX they didn't have any trailers or commercials...nothing at all before the movie.  An IMAX logo popped up, then the movie began.  It was cinema in its most pure and beautiful form...I may have cried a little.


What?!  Trailers are an essential part of the movie-going experience.  Even the bad ones!

The commercials though... ugh.  At least most of them are actually filming for, you know, film, these days.  The first batch of pre-movie commercials were all obviously taken from a TV aspect ratio and blown up, with the expected shitty results.

Comment Signature
#58 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:11:33
The Fast and the Furious was laugh-out-loud bad.  Stealing the entire plot of Point Break virtually scene for scene (while replacing surfboards with cars) was a bad idea because Point Break was a much better movie, so F&TF suffers even more by forcing the comparison.

Comment Signature
#59 by Hugin
2003-12-17 21:15:16
lmccain@nber.org
But I like cars more than surfing.
#60 by CheesyPoof
2003-12-17 21:26:56
The real question is, am I talking about Fast and the Furious, or Return of the King?

Well Gandalf isn't much of a "repressed homosexual" so I'm going to say the FF franchise.
#61 by Bailey
2003-12-17 21:30:23
You must have the rumored "Special Platinum Queer-Out Director's Edition" DVD set.

re: Avatar Icon
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: Return of the King

|«« - Previous Page - Next Page - »»|
P O S T   A   C O M M E N T

You need to be logged in to post a comment here. If you don't have an account yet, you can create one here. Registration is free.
C R A P T A G S
Simple formatting: [b]bold[/b], [i]italic[/i], [u]underline[/u]
Web Links: [url=www.mans.de]Cool Site[/url], [url]www.mans.de[/url]
Email Links: [email=some@email.com]Email me[/email], [email]some@email.com[/email]
Simple formatting: Quoted text: [quote]Yadda yadda[/quote]
Front Page (ATOM) • Submission Bin (2) • ArchivesUsersLoginCreate Account
You are currently not logged in.
There are currently 0 people browsing this site. [Details]