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Return of the King
December 17th 2003, 17:41 CET by CheesyPoof

The final installment is out.  Discuss how good it is, or isn't, or if it will get Oscars for PJ, or not, or whatever else, or if you want to see him film The Hobbit too, or not, just keep it all in one place.

* Be thankful I wasn't a nerd and made the topic title something stupid like "All Hail the King, baby."
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#37 by G-Man
2003-12-17 19:42:01
Turbine gets $18 million in funding from VC firms and buys back the AC and AC2 IPs. Did they pull one over on Microsoft?
#38 by Ergo
2003-12-17 19:42:53
#22 Bailey
Hugin

Dancing fucksticks, I had no idea how stupid Torque was when you said it "looked stupid". Stupid, in fact, does not come close to describing that assfest. New words must be invented to accomodate this trailer, nevermind the movie to come.

What, this is a surprise? It's the Fast and the Furious, only with motorcycles!

Cogite tute.
DVDs
#39 by BobJustBob
2003-12-17 19:43:18
He'll be imprisoned for war crimes.

Dood.
#40 by m0nty
2003-12-17 19:43:44
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I believe Riddick has an alien growing in his stomach, and he's on a mission to examine some strange black monoliths near a black hole with his two trusty robot friends.
#41 by Duality
2003-12-17 19:52:15
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
What, this is a surprise? It's the Fast and the Furious, only with motorcycles!

Except that The Fast and the Furious was entertaining.

I'd say Torque is The Somewhat Accelerated and the Slightly Angered.

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#42 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 19:52:33
Asheron's Call 2 was pretty much a complete failure.  I'm sure Microsoft was relieved to get rid of it.  They had already essentially switched away from Turbine and toward Sigil Games as their 'MMORPG partner'.

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#43 by jafd
2003-12-17 19:53:51
You guys don't know pain. I had to sit through a trailer for Torque on IMAX. That's pain. Pain, built into the system.

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#44 by Duality
2003-12-17 19:56:39
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
I'm sure you've done something to deserve it anyway!

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#45 by Jibble
2003-12-17 19:56:54
Heh, when I went to see Reloaded on IMAX they didn't have any trailers or commercials...nothing at all before the movie.  An IMAX logo popped up, then the movie began.  It was cinema in its most pure and beautiful form...I may have cried a little.

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#46 by Warren Marshall
2003-12-17 19:57:30
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
#36 Gunp01nt
I wonder how they're gonna make the connection between The Chronicles of Riddick and Pitch Black, how Riddick ends up in that ship and all.

Well, seeing as they already established Riddicks situation and explained why he was on the ship in the Pitch Black movie, I'd say they can focus their energy elsewhere.

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.
#47 by Ergo
2003-12-17 19:59:27
#41 Duality
What, this is a surprise? It's the Fast and the Furious, only with motorcycles!

Except that The Fast and the Furious was entertaining.

No, it was not. Ricer films are one step removed from Mexican wrestling movies.

Cogite tute.
DVDs
#48 by Bailey
2003-12-17 20:00:00
Now now Warren, don't go using your logic and memory to dismiss Gunpoint's perfectly valid inquiry.

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#49 by Trolly McTroll
2003-12-17 20:02:58
#45 Jibble
.I may have cried a little.


That's only because you're a pussy.

"..and Trolly McTroll is the best name EVER. I laugh every time I see it."  - ZEP
" If i ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Trolly. - The_Joker
"I agree with Trolly. " - yotsuya
#50 by Duality
2003-12-17 20:07:57
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Ricer films are one step removed from Mexican wrestling movies.

Donning a luchador mask, eclipsing the sun as I fling my weight at you.

Seriously, I like the Fast / Furious movies.  They were very simple popcorn flicks worth a rental/download/discount DVD purchas.  I got it on Movies on Demand for $4 for both films.

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#51 by Ergo
2003-12-17 20:29:55
To each his own, I guess. My wife and I managed to get 1/4 through F&F before we couldn't take it any more.

Cogite tute.
DVDs
#52 by crash
2003-12-17 20:51:24
G-Man:

Turbine gets $18 million in funding from VC firms and buys back the AC and AC2 IPs. Did they pull one over on Microsoft?

Maybe, but I doubt it. Figure they spent maybe half, or more, of that 18m to get the properties back, and that leaves 'em a pretty good chunk of change to build the infrastructure they're going to need. Pretty cheap IP, as those things go. Since I haven't seen the original contract, maybe there was a buyout option in there that Turbine just exercised or something.

It's going to be interesting to see where it goes from here, though, because I don't think there's a precedent for this. Has any other developer bought their IP back from the publisher before? Wonder what Turbine's going to do with their franchises, especially AC2--because it's about as close to death as I've seen an MMOG in a while.

By this time tomorrow we can be doing BODY SHOTS off HOOKERS in some MEXICAN HELLHOLE
#53 by Bailey
2003-12-17 20:51:57
What, don't you like forced bravado and testosterone leaking out of every pore in a cast of all-star repressed homosexuals?

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#54 by Bailey
2003-12-17 20:54:02
The real question is, am I talking about Fast and the Furious, or Return of the King?

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#55 by crash
2003-12-17 20:54:59
Why decide?

By this time tomorrow we can be doing BODY SHOTS off HOOKERS in some MEXICAN HELLHOLE
#56 by yotsuya
2003-12-17 21:06:57
Ergo-

That's pretty good. I couldn't get through 1/4 of the COMMERCIAL.

"YES!!  You see people, THAT'S why he's the Vice-President of A/V Services here at Respawn Games.  Yotsuya ALWAYS unleashes the fucking fury!" - Warren Marshall
#57 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:08:43

Heh, when I went to see Reloaded on IMAX they didn't have any trailers or commercials...nothing at all before the movie.  An IMAX logo popped up, then the movie began.  It was cinema in its most pure and beautiful form...I may have cried a little.


What?!  Trailers are an essential part of the movie-going experience.  Even the bad ones!

The commercials though... ugh.  At least most of them are actually filming for, you know, film, these days.  The first batch of pre-movie commercials were all obviously taken from a TV aspect ratio and blown up, with the expected shitty results.

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#58 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:11:33
The Fast and the Furious was laugh-out-loud bad.  Stealing the entire plot of Point Break virtually scene for scene (while replacing surfboards with cars) was a bad idea because Point Break was a much better movie, so F&TF suffers even more by forcing the comparison.

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#59 by Hugin
2003-12-17 21:15:16
lmccain@nber.org
But I like cars more than surfing.
#60 by CheesyPoof
2003-12-17 21:26:56
The real question is, am I talking about Fast and the Furious, or Return of the King?

Well Gandalf isn't much of a "repressed homosexual" so I'm going to say the FF franchise.
#61 by Bailey
2003-12-17 21:30:23
You must have the rumored "Special Platinum Queer-Out Director's Edition" DVD set.

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#62 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:32:12
Well, I guess there's no surfing at Revere Beach, eh?

Good roast beef sandwiches though.  Or at least there used to be.

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#63 by Hugin
2003-12-17 21:34:53
lmccain@nber.org
I live fairly far from Revere, it's basically at the other end of the Red Line from me.  Although I am hoping to get to some of the pebble beaches in Cape Cod in the spring.
#64 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:39:16
Revere is on the blue line, isn't it?  Along wit' Eastie.

Do you live in the Somerville area, or around Braintree?

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#65 by Hugin
2003-12-17 21:44:02
lmccain@nber.org
Oh you're right, I'm an idiot.  I'm thinking Wollaston beach in Quincy.  I live in Somerville near the Cambridge border.
#66 by Dethstryk
2003-12-17 21:44:24
jemartin@tcainternet.com
I'm going to wait and catch it tomorrow night, because I'm going to watch it with the lady.

That said, I need to see this movie. Badly. Seeing a few of the scenes in the Return of the King game has sparked my anticipation ten-fold. And, besides, maybe the Fellowship won't forget how to be badasses at the Black Gate. So bitter.

sunny days have funny ways of quieting the roar
#67 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 21:59:53
For Reals?  I grew up in Somerville, near Alewife/Powderhouse/Dilboy Field.

Represent!

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#68 by Your Friend
2003-12-17 22:00:20

I'm going to wait and catch it tomorrow night, because I'm going to watch it with the lady.


One of your 'lovely ladies', or a real girl?

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#69 by G-Man
2003-12-17 23:33:22
I also spent some time in Somerville. Just FYI.
#70 by Bailey
2003-12-18 00:00:10
Oh yeah? You know Jimmy the Shiv?

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#71 by Your Friend
2003-12-18 00:18:58
Jimmy the Shiv, eh? I think that dude is from Charlestown man.

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#72 by Sgt Hulka
2003-12-18 00:21:35
I used to live in Charlestown.. no wait, I lived in Charleston...

#73 by Dethstryk
2003-12-18 00:24:18
jemartin@tcainternet.com
YF -

My real girlfriend, not one of you bitches.

sunny days have funny ways of quieting the roar
#74 by Hugin
2003-12-18 00:57:20
lmccain@nber.org
God I used to commute through Alewife every day.  Boston has too.  Many. Cars.
#75 by jafd
2003-12-18 01:47:26
Feh. Paul is back in IRC. Where's the arsenic? I'll take a double.

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#76 by Duality
2003-12-18 01:52:08
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
May I inquire about the history of this Paul?

And if I inquire, will I get an explanatory response?

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#77 by LPMiller
2003-12-18 01:55:19
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
I'm seeing this on DVD. 3.5 hours is way too long to be trapped in a theater with either geeks, or people who are not geeks trying to watch a geek movie. Plus, my bladder just won't do 3.5 hours.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#78 by Duality
2003-12-18 01:56:49
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Strangely, the theater is the only time I can watch any LotR film without falling asleep.

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#79 by Jibble
2003-12-18 01:57:10
#77 LPMiller
I'm seeing this on DVD. 3.5 hours is way too long to be trapped in a theater with either geeks, or people who are not geeks trying to watch a geek movie. Plus, my bladder just won't do 3.5 hours.

What are you, 50?

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#80 by Bailey
2003-12-18 02:16:09
This is a phenomenon referred to as "the teacup bladder".

re: Avatar Icon
#81 by jjohnsen
2003-12-18 05:04:17
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I have the same problem, and I'm hoping someone can suggest the perfect time in the 3.5 hours to take a bathroom break?  Maybe when it gets a bit talky?
#82 by G-Man
2003-12-18 05:16:59
Go for the bathroom when Frodo dies. There's a lot of talking then.
#83 by LPMiller
2003-12-18 05:22:50
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
What are you, 50?


width wise, maybe.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#84 by jafd
2003-12-18 05:25:59
Maybe you guys with the peanut bladders could just go without eating or drinking for a few hours before the film starts? Or, do you get cranky without being offered the breast?

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#85 by Bailey
2003-12-18 05:44:59
Piss in a bottle, throw it by the roadside.

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#86 by Dumdeedum
2003-12-18 06:00:13
http://www.dumdeedum.com
I still don't see how you can take a dump whilst driving, have I been using an inferior technique or something?

Hey You! Don't watch that, watch this!  This is the heavy, heavy monster sound.
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